26 Things I Have Learned At 26

I recently turned 26, which I feel, is a bit of an awkward age. You're not quite in your mid twenties anymore, so there's that lingering expectancy from society and your parents that says you should have your shit together by now.
Here are 26 things I have learned at the ripe old age of 26:

  1. Never put washing up liquid in a dish washer.
  2. Definitely don’t get black-out wasty-faced at the office party.
  3. Having more than a bottle of red wine on a school night is never a good idea.
  4. With that being said, tequila is not your friend. It’s out to f*ck you.
  5. Your childhood matters, but don't let it control your adulthood.
  6. It’s okay to embrace your inner sloth; finish work, go home, cook dinner and change straight into your jammies. You’re 26, you don’t need to go out during the week to keep up appearances.
  7. Embrace your inner nerd. I like NASA documentaries, programmes on serial killers, docs about insects, natural disasters, and aliens. So what?
  8. Neglect Social Media in favour of spending time in the present. People are so concerned these days with documenting every aspect of their life with photos and statuses. Social media is not an accurate portrayal of real life.
  9. Selfie sticks, although beneficial for large group photos, are for narcissists and kids.
  10. If you hate your career, get the hell out of there, like yesterday. You spend around 70% of your waking hours working and life is too short.
  11. Invest in good quality, expensive bedding.
  12. Care less about what others think. So Helen from Sales hates you for no apparent reason. F*ck Helen, Helen is a loser and has self-esteem issues. Choose your battles, wisely.
  13. Everyone’s families are weird. Don’t think you’re on your own.
  14. Toxic friends: identify them, get rid of them. Do it quickly.
  15. Be mindful.
  16. Find a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life.
  17. Know your body type and what looks good on you. Don't feel compelled to wear the latest fashion trend. 
  18. Learn to cook and get decent at it.
  19. Experiences make people happier than possessions, so travel and explore whenever you can. There are 196 countries in this world and there is more to life than Ibiza and Marbella.
  20. Learn from past relationships, the good ones and the bad. People will come and go throughout your life, you'll consciously breakaway from people because your values will change, and vice versa.  
  21. Don’t ever feel like you’re restricted by your chosen degree or education.
  22. Hangovers get worse as you age, it’s science.
  23. If you are lucky enough to still have your parents around, make it a priority to spend time with them. Give them a hug and tell them you love them, whenever you can.
  24. The best burger you will ever eat is an In’N’Out burger. They are only available in 5 states in America. Double double animal style, every time.
  25. If you don't know what to say, silence is always an option. I have definitely come out with some awkward one liners in my time.
  26. Stop being so self conscious. No one is paying attention to you, they are too busy paying more attention to themselves.